Some Finished Business

After a while, I know I lost my “title” as blog writer.

People grow, status changed, and so on. 

However, writing still holds a special place within. So..here we go.

2018 is a big year. I wouldn’t say the biggest, but it’s big. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing (that’s 2016), but it is still a big one. A lot happen in 2018. I just realized it when I tweeted this out just a couple days ago. 

Not that it matters that much but I actually lower my dose up to 87.5% 

If not seconds, it was hours after I tweeted it I realized that I actually have sooooooo many achievements that would fight for those top 3. The bird tweeted and there’s no such “regret”—regret sounds like a heavy word but I can’t think of any synonym. However, I think my future me would love to acknowledge every achievement I’ve gained within the year. Each one of them needs acknowledgment.

Without further ado, here they are *drum rolls*
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1. Finished revision of my under-graduate thesis
2. Have a farewell dinner with bf—it was pretty premature though. We don't know where we headed, but I was quite sure I was moving back to Jakarta
3. Contributed in Kelas Inspirasi Bandung 6 #KIBDG6—I always loveeeeee volunteering
4. Applied to some vacancies—which was exciting!
5. Done my 2nd TOEFL test—I aimed for a higher score, but the score is actually quite much higher than my 1st one.
6. Donated some clothes
7. Having my baby got shown at an architectural exhibition
8. Got my first job
9. Graduated
   
10. Went to work, for real, for the first time
11. Applied and got my own NPWP
12. Loving the job 
13. Had a successful MRI—but the result isn’t that satisfying, lol 
14. Giving out my first angpao to my nieces and nephews 
15. Had my first 5K run 
16. Went to Paramore concert with bf—we don't really share the same music preferences, so it's an achievement^^
17. Had my second 5K run
    
18. Went to gym (most of the time) twice weekly 
19. Bought my first goat for qurban on Ied Adha 
20. Paid for my medical trip 
21. Had saving 
22. Initiated my first investment 
23. Exchanged to stainless straw 
24. Exchanged to some-other sustainable items 
25. Learning more about minimalism and zero waste lifestyle—wish me luck?
26. Delivered some e-waste to be recycled, for the first time 
27. Say no to some plastic bag offer 
28. Bought clothes with my own shopping bag—which I thought was next level #proud 
29. Planned my first getaway oversea with some friends—and have no difficulty in terms of permit (from parents) 
30. Running oversea—in Singapore, to be specific
31. Paid for (some of) my own bills 
32. Went on a little getaway with bf’s fam 
33. Taking cashless TransJakarta for the first time—the last time I took it was about 6 years ago, and the transaction was all cash 
34. Taking commuter line for the first time 
35. Having my budget planned 
36. Bought gift for parents

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Of course, I went past a lot of regrets along the way as well. Unfinished books, immature behaviour, impulsive and stupid decisions. However...let's focus on the good things, shall we?

P.S. I don't really celebrate new year eve since...2015 or so, but, here's to 2019!

Not Feeling 22, Because I'm Not

Thought for Days

I've been thinking.

The thought of leaving Bandung is saddening. I love Bandung. It's where most of my big family (from both sides, mom's & dad's) lives. That's why, long time before I went to college, I often went to Bandung to visit the family. Not to mention that I was born here.

However, the thought of living in Bandung scares me. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I've spent most of my live in Jakarta (---or Cibubur, you name it). That city also has a big part in my heart. That's where my home is. Eventhough...I live in a house of mine in Bandung as well. The thought of making that house my first house is scary.

Don't ask me why. I don't know. Maybe, just maybe. I'm afraid of the future. I'm not as curious as I was with the future.

sick

So....I was sick. Well, some people may say that I am still sick.

I remember how there was a time when I was awaken and I heard everyone saying things twice. Which is grumpy-maker, because..."okay, people, I understand it. You don't have to say every word twice"

Then I said "please, don't say everything twice, I understand it, okay?"

And my brother said, "Sis, we all actually say things once. It's your sickness that made you hearing things differently."

Hahaha.

I rarely cry in front of my family....simply because I want to look strong. And at that time, I tried not to cry. (Psssst, I succeed!)

Days after that, I could hear things normally again (yay!) ---just to make sure that you know that I hear things normally ;)

P.S. And, really, I'm so glad to know that I have the sweetest people on earth as mine.

ji iu

Here's to the deadline(s) we're facing.

We can make it!!

P.S. Looking forward to play. :)

Fishy

After a while, I decided to write here again.

A lot happened. And just like some other posts, this one is for you, fishy. Maybe the last one?

This is a resume of what happened: I'm glad. I'm glad that it's you, instead of anybody else (because, really, I don't think anybody else would compromise what I had done)



P.S. This post has been on the draft folder for a while now. And I think, what the hell?

Mom?

The worst kind of pain is the one that makes you feel needed to be hold by your mom.

And I'm not even a mommy's girl.

What They Talk When They Talk About LDR

Do you know how people say that LDR sucks?

Well, they're right. At least, most of the time.

Like when you miss this specific other and you can't do anything about it.

Like when you're furious at this specific other, and you can't yell right in front of his/her face.

(Seriously, "yelling" through texts/phone is just a terrible thing)

I guess I've something similar before, well doesn't matter. Just to make a point of what I said earlier.

Annoyed?

Hello again, platform.

My brother once accidentally opened this blog and said that I'm being too melancholy on this platform.

Oh well, what can I say. I am one hopeless romantic soul. My close friend even admitted it.



And to finally write again here is........fun. I have always loved to write, always been. (Let's just don't question my decision to pick architecture as my major, shall we?)

People say: LDR sucks. Well, it's not for me. Not anymore, at least. It used to be the worst thing in the world, in my world. Let's just say that for now, it sucks less than it was. Maybe I get used to it? Yes, I still get that cringy feeling sometimes, but...I know that I gotta face it anyway. Because....no matter how annoying he is (I tell you, he's that annoying, it's not even overrated), I still rather be annoyed by him.




phew. I knew it would be relieving.

Throwback

You know those words that you say 2.5 years ago? I still hold it on, eventough it may not be reliable anymore.

And, yeah, you may not remember either. It's okay.

Understand This

I know from what you had told me, you wont read this. Well, in case you will, understand this.

B.

When I said that I saw someone looked like you, I wanted to tell you of how I remember you. I didn't want you to hear how you think this strange man looked better than you are. Because the truth is, I don't care.

Lucky Enough

It may sound the cheesiest, but well...that's how it is for me. 

Gitchi gitchi goo, B. :)

This Time

I found it odd how I barely take photos of us whenever we're together

But then I know, I value the time more than the memories in pixels

And it's spoken by someone who value memories that much

Well, maybe that what happens when someone means so much to you.

Be home soon, Ki.

Tanya

Semua orang terus bertanya, "kenapa dia lagi?" Dan jujur saja, aku tidak pernah tahu harus menjawab apa. Ratusan kata ku coba rangkai menjadi kalimat penjelasan. Tidak, tidak pernah terangkai. Rasanya tidak pernah kata-kata itu menjadi kombinasi yang sempurna. Mendekati sempurna pun tidak untuk menjelaskan mengapa. Haruskah ada alasan? Kalau harus, mungkin ini alasannya: mengapa tidak?

Look Up

"So how's it like there?"

*Blubbering....not conscious that I looked up while talking*

And he looked up, too.

"And what's up there? Some kind of cheat sheet?"

Bunga Tidur

Menurutku, bukan tidak mungkin suatu hari aku terbangun dan tidak ingin tertidur lagi. Bukan karena realita jauh lebih indah. Atau belum setidaknya. Justru sebaliknya. Aku benci bunga tidur. Aku benci bagaimana dia memberiku gambaran akan hal dengan terlalu nyata. Membuatku benci saat terbangun. Aku benci bagaimana kau bahkan tak ada untuk menetralisir rasa itu.

Kamu kemana?

Certainty

Long roads remind me of you. Of how, from many opportunities, it just might take me to you. Or not.

Jika

Lalu jika aku cerita kenapa? Jika tidak kenapa? Rasanya akan sama saja. Mungkin kau akan tertawa. Lalu menepuk-nepuk kepalaku. Ya, itu jika kau disini. Atau jika aku disana.

Putih

Katanya putih itu suci

Katanya putih itu bersih

Katanya putih itu kosong

Tapi mengapa jadi tanda mundur?

Tidak kontradiktif

Bukan berarti senada

Tidak sama

Bukan berarti berbeda

Harap

Tolong

Tolong

Tolong

Hanya itu yang aku lolong

Tolong

Jangan hanya hinggap

Kali ini aku mohon

Jangan hanya singgah