Annoyed?

Hello again, platform.

My brother once accidentally opened this blog and said that I'm being too melancholy on this platform.

Oh well, what can I say. I am one hopeless romantic soul. My close friend even admitted it.



And to finally write again here is........fun. I have always loved to write, always been. (Let's just don't question my decision to pick architecture as my major, shall we?)

People say: LDR sucks. Well, it's not for me. Not anymore, at least. It used to be the worst thing in the world, in my world. Let's just say that for now, it sucks less than it was. Maybe I get used to it? Yes, I still get that cringy feeling sometimes, but...I know that I gotta face it anyway. Because....no matter how annoying he is (I tell you, he's that annoying, it's not even overrated), I still rather be annoyed by him.




phew. I knew it would be relieving.

2:46

Afterall, I know that I need some closure.

And I thank you, so much. I really do. For giving me this time.

P.S. Thank you :)

Spoiled

"I love midnight conversation. The heavier the eyelids, the sincere the words are"

And it's just not for conversation, in my opinion. Anything comes out at midnight is just as pure as newborn baby. 

It takes time to make one action to one habit. And, yes, the power of habit: it's hard to be stopped. I must admit that rely on you has become my habit. I know, I should somehow stop. It has been weeks and I think I'm doing fine. You know...not really rely on you. It's been not easy. For times I feel like giving up. And then I always (always always alwayssss) try to convince myself that I must not spoil myself. So far, I guess it's working.

You know, something has no point. Just like this post. I should work on my assignment (again). This writting is also somehow one way to get me awaken. Cold coffee stops working after 2am, I suppose.

Not-So-Mellow

And then I realized that most of my recent posts have been so so so mellow. And I know that's a thing I got to find a way out myself. I overthink wayyyyy to much. My life is actually not that mellow. I even doubt most people know I can be that mellow. And, yessss, thanks to my introvert personality.

Anyway,

it's a brand new semester. It's frightening somehow. Yet tempting. It's been a week and my excitement hasn't got any lower. Good sign? Let's hope so. See?????? I already seem much brighter. My only hope for this semester is to be a much-much-much better time manager. Because last time I checked, I was suck at it. And, ah, I need to know my capability and not being over it.

P.S. I still have the urge.

I

I come to realize that everything is not about oneself. It's not a matter of "I need it" and "I can't live without it".

I

I

I...

It's all I hear all the time. And I come to realize those reflect selfishness. How about what others think? Just because you need it and (you think) you can't live without it, doesn't mean the final conclusion depends on it; or does it?

[Inspired by a line from "Raising Helen"]

P.S. And that's why,b

The Tired Left Shoes

I plan to write something, but nothing come out. Anyway..

Here's to us.

I guess, see you when I see you?

Sleepless Brain

He once told me that I could call him everytime I need him, but we (at least I do) know that's impossible. 

City of Flowers

It's official. I'm moving to this city now. It's happening. WOOT..........

P.S. First things that I can tell are how cheap the food is and how I loveeee the weather here. I can totally get used to this (it's a prayer, I must say)

Smelly Fish

He said that I was "flat"
He said he was confused how I appeared to be joyful but so quiet the next time
He even once said that I was scary
However, he's been sticking around. I can't ask for more, at least for now.

The future is scary. It always is. It has no traffic light to warn us. It has no sign to tell us if it's going to be up or down. 

I seriously find it hard to trust people, maybe that's why I will seem arrogant to simply everyone at first hehehe. As time goes on I can assure you that you will see me as a socially awkward girl with her poker face....nah just kidding. I simply act silly when I'm around people I'm comfortable with. 

He is one of those people. It's just a bit different with him. However, one thing I can tell you; I started to trust him. Yes, started. I somehow feel it 's kind of hypocrite of  myself if I say I've completely trusted him...but I'm willing to go that far. So, let's do this.

P.S. I can totally be focus.

Déjà vu

I have done it before, and maybe that's why, I can do it again. I somehow had known since a long time ago that I would do exactly the same thing. I know I was waiting for a reason to do that.


P.S. Found it!

Kryptonite

Random fact: I got distracted easily (especially when it comes to study)

Twist and Shout!

#NowPlaying You Make My Dreams Come True - Hall and Oates (Current favourite!)

Do you know one of those days where too many things happen and you're just confused about how to feel. It's even confusing how feeling things can be this complicated. I guess my brain is still on its process to find out what's really going on.

I love hectic days, anyway. It's tiring but somehow that tiring feeling is what makes you feel alive. 

P.S. Currently having trouble to sleep caused by overload things. Feeling like a little kid..how I'm so puzzled yet excited to know what'll happen next hehehehe. :-)

Motivation

Earlier today I was bored and found (hm..saw fits better, though) this assignment book back when I was on 10th grade. This book was one of the reason (and I guess also the first one) why I'm trying this hard. I found some paper are still blank so try to fill it. I forgot some ways to do it, though.

[UNTITLED]

Hey, sunshine. I miss you.

How come seeing you become so addictive? Eventhough I would always turn my head everytime you look at me. Eventhough I can feel these butterflies force to come out everytime you smile. Eventhough I can feel my cheeks warmer everytime you put your hands in your pants' pockets, and I have to act as normal as I can. Eventhough I would try not to look at you as often as possible.

And writing to you somehow keep me sane. Because after I type the last word I know I need to get back to the reality. Eventhough you might never read any word I write to you.

Mobbed

Few days ago, on Thursday to be exact, I had a dream. When I awoke, all I could think of is have I ever had a dream that is better than that? I might think with my sleepy head but maybe that's true. It felt so real that I got surprised (in a bad way) when I woke up. I mean, like seriously. Last Thursday my mom picked me up (she rarely do this) and it happened in the dream. I could tell, I don't know how or why, that the next day (in my dream) would be holiday...and last Friday was a holiday. My point is, the situation in the dream was just exactly the same.

At last, it was a remarkable dream. I might remember this one for quite a long time.

Has no idea how to wake up,

Shafira Anjani

P.S. The title itself has something to do with that dream. TeeHee..

Half Done

It's the last day of the school exam. 

It's just unbelievable how I can still see it clear enough in my mind like it was yesterday when I got some days off because the seniors had school exam week. I remember it was on March. On the first day of the exam I went to school to sign some kind of agreement to promise that I would never be late again (yes, my school is that strict). I remember I couldn't wait to get out of school because I had an interview to be done. An interview for a documentary movie. I remember when I finally got the agreement signed, I still needed to wait for a friend which really pissed me off since the interview was so important for me. I remember I bought two little cakes near our source's house. When I got there the interview was already done, I just got there to give the cakes and say thank you. I remember I took my only photobooth photos with my highschool friends later that day. I remember that at the end of the day I feel blessed. Extremely happy for simply everything that happened that day.

Yet, it's not over. It's only half done. And I need to make it full done. And not just done, but also done it right in the best way I can do. These two weeks had crashed me in and out. I'm not a kind of student who will stay up all night and study. I would rather sleep and continue to study in the morning. Let's just say the school exam changed that and I can really use a day off to sleep now *yawn*

Missing reading novels,

Shafira Anjani.

Amnesia

I suddenly forgot what makes me holding on for this long. I tried and tried to remember. I tried to live the moments. Feel the moments. However, it makes no difference. I just can't seem to remember the reason why. Breeze, can't you whisper me? Please, tell me. I have no clue.

Why?

Overload Happiness

:):):):):):):):):)

I, just a random fact of mine, usually use smiley for sarcasm but those above are different. I'm super happy I don't know what can make me happier than this. I know actually haha but those things (that can make me happier than I already super am) are really great things that are almost impossible. Well, let's see if someday it may really happen. I love this week. Everyday of it. It may not be perfect but there had always been something special (some of it are quite embarassed, though). It's just amazing how amazing things can happen unstopable.

And, oh, I just realized it's been a while since I post photos of mine. So, here it is..my source of this week's happiness. :-D

And I still wonder why on earth I would post a photo of myself looking like....that. Happy Sunday everyone!

So Far So Great

In short: I love February. Apart from the birthday thingy, February of this year is so.....great. It's not perfect just like everything else is but I love it.

I love how I finally get a chance to talk to my best guy after weeks (maybe months?), have good times with friends, receive two sweetest letters I've ever received, feel uh-not-so-bad on lessons, have good times with family, be able to manage househould money successfully (yes, I nailed it!), and just simply see that someone  daily.

Not to mention I'm going to Bandung tomorrow (ZUPER excited for this one!!!!!Just done packing couple hours ago but can't stop myself over checking things). And...ah! For some couple weeks there's something and let's just say this something is vanished. Alhamdulillah :-D

Unless something really great is coming (I really hope something is..)February will definitely be my favourite month of the year.

Will be facing National Exam in 44 days,

Shafira Anjani

Le Mur Des Je T'aime

" I Love You: The Wall is a wall in Paris that ..........has every language of "I Love You".                      "

Found this pic on 9GAG and what comes first on my mind was: I want to take a picture with you. There. Someday. Later.

P.S. Yes, I should be studying.