Not-So-Mellow

And then I realized that most of my recent posts have been so so so mellow. And I know that's a thing I got to find a way out myself. I overthink wayyyyy to much. My life is actually not that mellow. I even doubt most people know I can be that mellow. And, yessss, thanks to my introvert personality.

Anyway,

it's a brand new semester. It's frightening somehow. Yet tempting. It's been a week and my excitement hasn't got any lower. Good sign? Let's hope so. See?????? I already seem much brighter. My only hope for this semester is to be a much-much-much better time manager. Because last time I checked, I was suck at it. And, ah, I need to know my capability and not being over it.

P.S. I still have the urge.

Half Done

It's the last day of the school exam. 

It's just unbelievable how I can still see it clear enough in my mind like it was yesterday when I got some days off because the seniors had school exam week. I remember it was on March. On the first day of the exam I went to school to sign some kind of agreement to promise that I would never be late again (yes, my school is that strict). I remember I couldn't wait to get out of school because I had an interview to be done. An interview for a documentary movie. I remember when I finally got the agreement signed, I still needed to wait for a friend which really pissed me off since the interview was so important for me. I remember I bought two little cakes near our source's house. When I got there the interview was already done, I just got there to give the cakes and say thank you. I remember I took my only photobooth photos with my highschool friends later that day. I remember that at the end of the day I feel blessed. Extremely happy for simply everything that happened that day.

Yet, it's not over. It's only half done. And I need to make it full done. And not just done, but also done it right in the best way I can do. These two weeks had crashed me in and out. I'm not a kind of student who will stay up all night and study. I would rather sleep and continue to study in the morning. Let's just say the school exam changed that and I can really use a day off to sleep now *yawn*

Missing reading novels,

Shafira Anjani.

(Just) Two Weeks

Hey, peeps!

I'm in the middle of Exam tryout week and here I am. Isn't it super scary how not ready (I think) I am?  

I've studied, anyway he he, don't worry ;-)

**

Anyway..my parents are out of the country for almost two weeks. Meanwhile, I got trusted to manage the money in the household. It's only been two days and I...HAHAHAHA *lost of words......* well, I think I do well. At least, much better than the last time my parents left me (I had to manage the household's money as well..) :-P

You know..I'm not good at speaking my words. Unless it's been memorized/written before/you know what I mean right.., words coming out from my mouth are most of the time absurd. And I just found a reason why people often laugh when I speak -,-

Where am I going? I just want to tell you that I miss my parents so much. I never said words full of love for some couple years because....I got too shy. Am I the only one? I remember when I was younger, it was so easy for me to tell them how I feel.

Being left behind also makes me thinking about other thing. I have plan to go to college outside Jakarta, and I'm nowhere from independent nor neat. I can't imagine how my life would be if my plan goes well (aamin ^^). Ok, I actually can imagine. I know how I will (yes, I use if-clause 2 because I know it's possible! teehehehe) be overslept for most of my early times, since my younger sister usually wake me up. I know I will skip breakfast if I am too lazy. I know how my room will be filled with papers here and there. Unorganized.

Tomorrow is physics and english, so..wish me luck?

Currently pursuing dream,

 πA

P.S. I found that my name can be written in such a unique way couple months ago. Quite cool, right? 

Sentences

Pic is originally taken from here.

All I know is when I'm not thinking of college, I'm thinking of you.

I know school must be my priority since I'm now a 12th grader and it actually is. You're just an illusion that makes me thinking that you're also a priority for me. I don't even know what is real when it comes to you.  Everything can seem extremely great.....and then it turns out bad in no time.  It's like I keep waking up in a beautiful dream.  I'm not saying that reality is bad, it's just the matter of fact that dreams are better for now.  Having a beautiful dream is great, but waking up and making it into reality should be greater. I don't even know what I'm talking about right now....you or college?

First

1st July! Wow.....time really flies, doesn't it?  In no time I'll be sitting in my new class with some new classmates.

Talking about new class....my last report book was super satisfying!  I did expect to be better than the previous semester but I thought I wouldn't make it this good.  I wasn't even in the top ten of my class and here I am.  Still...not the best but much better.  I would try to do much better for the next semester (since it would be matter for a senior student like me who wants to go to university, to be specific public university).


Two years ago no, even a year ago I had no idea what I would like to study in college.  I was quite interested in law (because of...him) but it's not my priority.  My parents wanted me to study sience.  Okay, to be specific they wanted me to study medical but that would be my last choice since I'm afraid of dead bodies (which I will definitely be dealing with if I study medical).  I was always be the one who's excited in every biology experiment, though..  However, biology is just not my thing.  I never even wrote anything from my biology classes. I never listened to my biology teacher.  I f I understand something before the test, that'd seriously be just coincidence.  I always study biology the whole chapter right before the test (technically not right before test, night before the test).  Some of my classmates will know it, that I will be such a pain in the a** when it comes to biology test.  Don't even bother to talk to me because I won't listen. :-) 

So...have I found out what I want?  I guess so.  I want to be an architect.  I can't draw (depends on how your definition of drawing, well my definition of drawing is the one that inspires people or at least makes spaces between their lips when they see it). My physic score is not great.  I don't even love physic.  There're some reasons why I want to be an architect. When I was in 10th grade there was a lesson in fine art subject to draw from three point of view.  I somehow loved doing that.  I didn't even feel like working on an assignment.  I feel like doing a challenge.  I even did some of my friends' works.  This year I did Dharma's as well :-P  it's like taking a break from my exhausting education life instead of working. You know what they say..

And I somehow inspired by Ted Mosby of How I Met Your Mother and Tom Hansen of 500 Days of Summer who both are architect (the figures, not the actors).  FYI HIMYM and 500 Days of Summer are two of my favourite things (in this case movies and sitcoms) in life.  I was like....maybe it's a clue.  Maybe I should try to be an architect.

After all the best thing in life is the unexpected, right? That's all for now.  I've got things to write but it's getting late and I think I'd better keep it myself for now.

LEGO

No...I'm not going to talk about that toy (well, if I would it should be spelled leggo if I'm not mistaken?)

People say that love takes no reason. If you have any reason to love someone, it's not love. It's crush. That's what people say.  I agree and disagree at the same time.  I mean, yes, I agree that to be in love it takes no reason.  However, I think to stay in love, which is a completely different thing, takes a reason or even more.  One can love a person for a different length of time.  One could say that she would love someone forever, but would he?  I ever said that when I was elementary school, and you might've guessed this...I don't love him anymore.  It wasn't even love, I guess.  That kind of puppy love...

One would stay in love when she thinks it'd still be worth it, when she thinks there's still hope somewhere.  Eventhough it might be indescribeable.  No one would understand why she still holds on and stays for something so unsure.  They might say that they understand why she still stays, but deep inside they all wonder, "why?"

One sometimes thinks, "is he really the one?"  One knows that if he's not, God must've planned something amazing behind all of this.  There must be a reason why God made her able to stay for that long for someone like him.  One sometimes thinks that he's a clue, a path for her from God to her real the one.  One can't be sure.  One never wants to let go because she's too afraid.  One's afraid that the time she gives up would actually be the time when she could get everything right.  One's afraid that she can't love anyone the way she loves him.

One keeps thinking to find a time to move on.  To let it be.  Then...she thinks again, "so, all of my effort was for nothing? Completely nothing?"  So she starts to set a time.  A resolution?  When she accomplishes it, she would move on.  Again...this resolution couldn't be done without God.  So there is only one thing that she could do, like she have always been, waiting.

Time could change someone.  That time has come.  It wasn't something big but it somehow changes the way one thinks.  One's determined herself to move on.  She's trying not to care of the fact that her effort is going to waste.  One took a step....that would mean nothing for most people but for her it means a lot.  She knew if she didn't start, she wouldn't.  One took conclusion.  If God let her to be with him after her effort to move on, then let it be.  God's plans are always the best.        

P.S. LEGO = Life Eventually Goes On :)xx

The Courage

I had always been dreaming to have a three-coloumn blog template.  However, I never had enough courage to take the risk of my blog template would be completely a mess.  Well.....I finally had the courage!  And here you are seeing my blog in a new template....:-)

The change itself was started by an accident.  I found an article about adding one more coloumn to a blog template without changing anything (but the number of the coloumn, for sure).  Why didn't I change the whole template?  Because I love the way my template looked like (if I have to remind you, the credit for my old template goes to Sekar) wantI followed the step and.....saved it right away without even trying to find out how it would look like through the preview.

You might've known how it went.  I failed. It was a mess.

I got frustated (hmm frustated is obviously not the proper word) and let it the way it was for a while.  Until one day I decided to change the whole template.  This template is (I can proudly say) the first template that I set.  Still, lots of things to make it better....

At least I learn how not to always count on people :-P

Trois

Joyeux anniversaire!
Qui? Mon blog! 

Enough with those france sentences I write with help of a dictionnary....

It's my blog 3rd birthday and I'm not excited. Yayness \―̈/ I should be excited, but I think I don't deserve the excitement. Because I didn't make many posts during this one year.

I hate having draft, because I rarely get it done. However, this year I made some drafts which I never have it done. And I'm talking about my blog.

So here I am trying to write a good post.

The time I wasted on everything but write a post on this blog makes me lost my excitement about blog. I mean...the skill on writing a good post. I may have not written any good post, but I know the difference. It's like I have lost my passion for blog which I know that isn't true. I still have passion for blog, but I forgot how to reflect this passion here, on this blog.

I can feel the difference, how about you? I hate how I have to post those lame posts. The posts that I wrote with no passion (or less passion at least) and effort to make it more...interesting? I wrote what I want without thinking how people are gonna see it. They may find it boring. And I don't like being boring.

I'm done with giving hopeless promises. I can only promise you one thing, I will try to write a better post. You know what they say: It's the quality that matters, not the quantity. ;)


P.S. The last sentence I wrote above reminds me of Qyanna.  She's my junior in 103 JHS whom asked me whether she should make a blog or not because she knew she wouldn't have enough time for it.  I told her to make one, because the quality that matters.  And I'm so embarrassed now.  How I told her to keep the quality of her blog when I myself don't do that. X_X

a Short and Late Post

Over a month........again and again. I'm the one to blame this time.

And happy new year! Sounds weird, eh?
My resolution for this is year is still the same. Eh.....no, no, I have a new resolution: go to science class for the next class term, and have a better rank on school and class. That's all. For the first new resolution, I have a problem........on physic. I really suck on it. I love math, but I can't do physic. I can't transubstantiation this formula into the other one, somehow I rarely can't. Or maybe I haven't done my best. Well, let's give a better shot this time! *talk to myself*

And uh.............I'm writing at my father's office, so I can't publish any photo. BU BU.........well who cares yeahaha.

I'll try to write better to for this year ;)


P.S. I don't know why, but I'm glad I often write a late post than publish a post from a draft which may have saved from a loooooooong time, but never be published until a looooooooooong time. Because the feeling when I write the rest of the post, wouldn't be the same feeling.

I failed...

How can I call a thing is story? When it has ending? How if it doesn't? Can I still call it a story?

I have something to tell you. But I don't even sure that it's a story because it doesn't have ending. But I wanna call it a story. So here we go.....

So sorry for the last post. I wanna tell you something, but it's an old story. Not an old story actually. It happened 6 days ago.

I woke up in the morning, got ready to go. I slept during the journey, but woke up in the middle of the journey. Got my phone, opened 28 SHS's web and shocked. I saw the announcement of the test.

I've already told you, haven't I?

Then, I opened the link and waited. While the file was opening, I wrote on twitter to tell my following which some of them did the same test. A file opened and I started to search my name. At the first time I dind't find my name.

I saw the timeline (twitter). There, I saw one of my friend, Sekar, mentioned me. FYI, I asked her before that, about "does she pass the test?" And yes she does. Beside that, she also told me that I didn't pass the test. Somehow I didn't believe her.

I stopped for a while, and told one of my friend, Hasyim, that the announcement was already there, on the web. I told him, wondered if he could help me find my name on the list. He told me that he saw my name, I didn't pass the test. I shock, but I didn't believe. I searched my name again on the list. And finally I found my name.

The picture below is captured by my phone.

It means
Math: 72
English: 76
Science: 62
Indonesian: 65
Social: 60

I told my mom. She liked me didn't believe it. We were on our way to 28 SHS (that was our plan, in case maybe the web'll be overload) and we tried to get there immediatelly. There, I saw the announcement. And the annoncement is the same like what I saw on phone.

*

If you think it's a story, it's not. Because it doesn't have an ending. No, it hasn't got the ending. But it'll get the ending. And I'll make sure, the ending is a happy ending.

Well, I hope so :)

P.S. I write this story as detail as I can write. Somehow, it makes me feel better. But if it doesn't work better for you, sorry. And congratulation to Sekar, Regina, Nadiah, Nadia, Ufan, and the others. They could pass the test. Wow they're brilliant!

Post Pertama di 2010

WAWWWWWW

Sangat mengejutkan mengetahui sekarang sudah memasuki bulan Januari 2010. Tahun 2009 adalah tahun yang sangat menyenangkan. Untuk gue, tahun 2009 dipenuhi oleh teman-teman dan keluarga. Hampir seluruh waktu dihabiskan bersama teman dan keluarga, dan tentu saja sangat menyenangkan dan sulit dilupakan.

Tapi sekarang sudah 2010. Mari kita lihat bersama apa kekurangan gue selama 2009 dan mencoba memperbaikinya. Menurut gue sendiri, beberapa sifat tercela gue selama 2009 adalah:

1. Pelupa. Sepertinya untuk hal ini sudah cukup banyak yang tau. Gue sering banget lupa, baik untuk hal kecil sampai hal besar. Tentu saja hal ini banyak membawa kerugian buat gue dan orang lain.


2. Kurang fokus. Menurut gue, alasan mengapa gue menjadi seorang pelupa adalah karena kurangnya konsentrasi dalam memerhatikan segala sesuatu. Hal ini benar-benar buruk untuk seorang pelajar seperti gue huhu sayang sekali ya.


3. Ceroboh. Pada tahun 2009, gue melakukan hampir segala hal secara spontan. Kalaupun tidak secara spontan, pasti hanya dipikirkan secara singkat. Ini membuat beberapa kesempatan baik hilang dan gue hanya mengambil kesempatan yang tersisa di sekitarnya.
   Pemalas. Gue sangat pemalas. Tidur hampir paling malam dan bangun hampir paling siang. Gue selalu menyiapkan buku pelajaran pada pagi hari karena terlalu malas. Hal ini juga bisa membuat gue menjadi ceroboh membawa sesuatu.


4. Tukang tidur. Karena sering kurang tidur, terkadang gue mencuri kesempatan tidur di kelas bahkan saat ada pelajaran (sebenarnya kalau waktu pelajaran baru satu kali). Paling sering adalah tidur di angkutan umum sampai terkadang terlampau dari tujuan sebenarnya. Walaupun semenjak kelas 9 selalu bangun tepat pada waktunya. Tapi tentu lebih baik kalau tidak tidur dan lebih waswas kalau ada orang jail ingin mengambil harta, bukan?


5. Terlalu pelit. Karena mempunyai keinginan menabung yang tinggi, gue hampir tidak pernah jajan. Mungkin hanya jajan kalau ada beberapa situasi darurat. Bahkan terkadang gue lebih memilih kelaparan dan kehausan daripada kelaparan. Setelah dipikir, untuk apa menabung kalau akhirnya sakit? Sebenarnya, pertanyaan itu tidak nyambung haha.

*

Setelah melihat beberapa kekurangan diatas, gue membuat beberapa resolusi di tahun 2010:


1. Lebih menghargai waktu.


2. Lebih menghargai tiga kata ajaib (tolong, terima kasih, maaf)


3. Tidak egois


4. Shalat sehari lima waktu


5. Khatam membaca Al-Quran


6. Menyayangi diri sendiri, orang lain, dan lingkungan.


7. Mendapat NEM setidaknya 38.


8. Masuk SMA yang diinginkan (28/8/Mh.Thamrin)


9. Belajar lebih banyak tentang blog sehingga bisa menjadi blogger yang lebih baik.


10. Belajar dari pengalaman.
    
    *
    
    Selain itu dalam blog gue juga melakukan perubahan. Mulai tahun 2010 akan ada label yang mungkin mempermudah kalian sebagai membaca untuk memilih kategori yang ingin kalian baca. Kalau kalian lihat di sebelah kanan post ada link menuju beberapa akun gue di berbagai social network atau sejenisnya. Isi blog juga sebisa mungkin gue kurangi dan selalu ada gambar untuk mengurangi rasa bosan.

Selamat menikmati blog gue di tahun 2010 ini :)

P.S: Pada blog sebelumnya, gue bermaksud posting tepat pada 1 Januari 00.00. Akan tetapi gue gak tau kalau waktu yang tertera adalah waktu ketika mulai menulis post, bukan ketika menerbitkannya. Jadi itu sebabnya waktu yang tertera pada blog terakhir adalah 23:44 :I