SCYHO

When I was 15th, I got stitches and I remember it as clear as it was yesterday how bad it was. I cried along the process and I remember mom said,

"it must be very painful, since she tends to hold every pain she has." 

Those sentences stuck on my mind until today because I know how that is just so damn true. And I just realize that when mom said that.

I realized how I always try to never ever cry in front of anyone. I realized how I always try to be the strongest girl ever existed. When the reality is..no, I'm not. However, this has slowly been a part of me. I somehow become an introvert. Even tough there were certain times when I couldn't handle it and brokedown anyway. Still, I only come out weak to some certain people. I even only come out weak in front of mom for a several times. And if you've ever heard me complaining to you for times, that means I trust you. Trust you enough to be weak in front of you.


P.S. I trusted.

[put smiley face here]

Subhanallah. Walhamdulillah. Wa lama ilaha ilallah. Wallahu akbar.

Feeling much much blessed lately. It's been some tough days and whenever I feel like breaking down, Allah shows me something to be grateful of. Those negative feelings are the hardest to be pushed away, and it does keep coming back. However, I must win this battle. (And as if you might know me well, it's a prayer)