LEGO

No...I'm not going to talk about that toy (well, if I would it should be spelled leggo if I'm not mistaken?)

People say that love takes no reason. If you have any reason to love someone, it's not love. It's crush. That's what people say.  I agree and disagree at the same time.  I mean, yes, I agree that to be in love it takes no reason.  However, I think to stay in love, which is a completely different thing, takes a reason or even more.  One can love a person for a different length of time.  One could say that she would love someone forever, but would he?  I ever said that when I was elementary school, and you might've guessed this...I don't love him anymore.  It wasn't even love, I guess.  That kind of puppy love...

One would stay in love when she thinks it'd still be worth it, when she thinks there's still hope somewhere.  Eventhough it might be indescribeable.  No one would understand why she still holds on and stays for something so unsure.  They might say that they understand why she still stays, but deep inside they all wonder, "why?"

One sometimes thinks, "is he really the one?"  One knows that if he's not, God must've planned something amazing behind all of this.  There must be a reason why God made her able to stay for that long for someone like him.  One sometimes thinks that he's a clue, a path for her from God to her real the one.  One can't be sure.  One never wants to let go because she's too afraid.  One's afraid that the time she gives up would actually be the time when she could get everything right.  One's afraid that she can't love anyone the way she loves him.

One keeps thinking to find a time to move on.  To let it be.  Then...she thinks again, "so, all of my effort was for nothing? Completely nothing?"  So she starts to set a time.  A resolution?  When she accomplishes it, she would move on.  Again...this resolution couldn't be done without God.  So there is only one thing that she could do, like she have always been, waiting.

Time could change someone.  That time has come.  It wasn't something big but it somehow changes the way one thinks.  One's determined herself to move on.  She's trying not to care of the fact that her effort is going to waste.  One took a step....that would mean nothing for most people but for her it means a lot.  She knew if she didn't start, she wouldn't.  One took conclusion.  If God let her to be with him after her effort to move on, then let it be.  God's plans are always the best.        

P.S. LEGO = Life Eventually Goes On :)xx

Surprise

Friendship sometimes hurts.  How you live your life, stop for a while, take a look, and realize how gap between you and your friends has become that big.  You both still try to act like bestfriends eventhough you both know you're not as close as you used to be. Either you realize or not, you both act differently. No more silly conversations, no more funny nicknames.

"

I love giving surprises.  I love making unexpected plan that would be memorable.  When it comes to a close friend, I seriously will do anything.  If I don't give my best effort, it'd be caused they don't worth my effort.  Not that big, at least. It's sad how on my last birthday, nothing was really special.  I know I should've not expected anything...but I just want to know that some people still care, no matter how far the distance is between us, no matter how rare we speak, no matter how many people have might replaced us.  I know it was exam week, everyone was busy studying.  And I love the fact that they studied.  I didn't expect big birthday cake or something.  I just expected they'd be there, we'd be there together celebrating something.  Because I know those moments are hard to have, for now, and for me, at least.

"

I was about to write that months ago. I'm glad I didn't write that.  Something made me not to.  Alhamdulillah :) I guess I sound pretty childish now.  However, as I've written, I just want to know that some people still care.

It was April 17th, 2012.  Shaviera's birthday! We (her classmates, JHS friends, Mumu, Fira, Dharma, and I) planned another surprise supported by her mom.  After the surprise, I just sat on a random table (no...not on the table) with Fira, Dharma, Gege, and Nisa (Mumu wasn't there yet).  It was pretty normal, we talked.  Shaviera moved from one table to another to talk to everyone.

Until.....Dharma and Fira whispered each other, showed something on his phone, and acted mysteriously which made me completely confused+feel-like-a-stalker-who-wanted-to-know-what-they-were-talking-about.  Fira left and Dharma accompanied her.  And I just sat there like an idiot waiting for them.  I used to be close to Gege...but at that time I didn't know what to talk about or even do, so I just checked my phone over and over again.  There wasn't even a person texted me *Forever Alone detected*......

After a while, Dharma and Fira came back, they called Shaviera, walked outside the cafe, and had a talk.  Shaviera and Dharma came back.  Fira's mom went to accompany her.  Fira said earlier that she was going to ATM....but why did Dharma had to come with her anyway?  I didn't really mind, though. 

Uh...I forgot this part but I will never forget how this part made me feel.  Well....they came with a cake and a blue canvas filled with some of my photos. Surprise in a surprise.  I was too speechles+surprised and I didn't know how to react so I just smiled and laughed awkwardly.....thank you for every detail of the photo..



My speechless face.  Mind the expression

It might sound negative, huh? Well, I didn't mean to. I mean people who matter don't care how long it's been, how late it might be, because it should be still matter. Time means nothing.