In a Rush

And that's what I've always been afraid of. The chance that I might not get another chance.

Satu Dari Dua

Kali ini aku menulis untuk kamu. Iya, kamu. Sesosok wajah yang terlalu lama untuk tak terlihat. Getaran suara serak khas yang akan selalu membuatku menoleh. Gestur hangat yang diberikanmu padaku setiap kita bertemu.

Aku rindu kamu. 

Susah. Aku kira tak akan sesusah ini.

Sering tak terasa. Sekalinya terasa, dalam rasanya. Seperti telah kupendam lama-lama.

Aku tak pandai berkata sepertimu. Bagaimana pun, aku selalu kagum dengan caramu bertutur kata. Lisan maupun tulisan.

Egois sekali rasanya menginginkan kamu disini. Aku tahu itu. Tapi, terkadang kita butuh sifat individualistis, ya? Katanya sih begitu. Aku tidak memaksa, hanya ingin memberi tahu kamu bahwa aku percaya padamu.

Sampai ketemu bulan Juli/Agustus nanti, Safira Dias Setyo Putri. Satu dari dua Safira favoritku.

P.S. Ini semua karena kamu dan sebuah tulisan di lamanmu.

SCYHO

When I was 15th, I got stitches and I remember it as clear as it was yesterday how bad it was. I cried along the process and I remember mom said,

"it must be very painful, since she tends to hold every pain she has." 

Those sentences stuck on my mind until today because I know how that is just so damn true. And I just realize that when mom said that.

I realized how I always try to never ever cry in front of anyone. I realized how I always try to be the strongest girl ever existed. When the reality is..no, I'm not. However, this has slowly been a part of me. I somehow become an introvert. Even tough there were certain times when I couldn't handle it and brokedown anyway. Still, I only come out weak to some certain people. I even only come out weak in front of mom for a several times. And if you've ever heard me complaining to you for times, that means I trust you. Trust you enough to be weak in front of you.


P.S. I trusted.