Minority

English Midtest in 7 Hours

It's never easy, each day of it. However, I think it's worth the try and that's why I'm still trying. It's never easy to be just out-of-the-blue thinking of him in the middle of the night. I hope he'll never see this, though. I don't wanna seem so weak, because I'm not. Right? 

How can you measure time? It might not be long enough, but to hold on for every each day is just simply not easy. 

I tell him this almost everyday, but..

damn..I love you B. 

Day 59

It's coming to my sixth week here. 

Things just got real. Or this one, the one that I'm living in, isn't even the real stuffs? 

P.S. The space becomes smaller everyday which indicates the number gets bigger. 

Sleepless Brain

He once told me that I could call him everytime I need him, but we (at least I do) know that's impossible. 

City of Flowers

It's official. I'm moving to this city now. It's happening. WOOT..........

P.S. First things that I can tell are how cheap the food is and how I loveeee the weather here. I can totally get used to this (it's a prayer, I must say)

Smelly Fish

He said that I was "flat"
He said he was confused how I appeared to be joyful but so quiet the next time
He even once said that I was scary
However, he's been sticking around. I can't ask for more, at least for now.

The future is scary. It always is. It has no traffic light to warn us. It has no sign to tell us if it's going to be up or down. 

I seriously find it hard to trust people, maybe that's why I will seem arrogant to simply everyone at first hehehe. As time goes on I can assure you that you will see me as a socially awkward girl with her poker face....nah just kidding. I simply act silly when I'm around people I'm comfortable with. 

He is one of those people. It's just a bit different with him. However, one thing I can tell you; I started to trust him. Yes, started. I somehow feel it 's kind of hypocrite of  myself if I say I've completely trusted him...but I'm willing to go that far. So, let's do this.

P.S. I can totally be focus.

Speechless

Alhamdulillah....I just can't believe how Allah loves me. This much. Alhamdulillah...I'm surrounded with people who love me. Like you. This is just the beginning. I know it. Bismillah :-)

The only victim of (our version of) Biphobia,

Shafira Anjani

Déjà vu

I have done it before, and maybe that's why, I can do it again. I somehow had known since a long time ago that I would do exactly the same thing. I know I was waiting for a reason to do that.


P.S. Found it!

Kryptonite

Random fact: I got distracted easily (especially when it comes to study)

Twist and Shout!

#NowPlaying You Make My Dreams Come True - Hall and Oates (Current favourite!)

Do you know one of those days where too many things happen and you're just confused about how to feel. It's even confusing how feeling things can be this complicated. I guess my brain is still on its process to find out what's really going on.

I love hectic days, anyway. It's tiring but somehow that tiring feeling is what makes you feel alive. 

P.S. Currently having trouble to sleep caused by overload things. Feeling like a little kid..how I'm so puzzled yet excited to know what'll happen next hehehehe. :-)

Motivation

Earlier today I was bored and found (hm..saw fits better, though) this assignment book back when I was on 10th grade. This book was one of the reason (and I guess also the first one) why I'm trying this hard. I found some paper are still blank so try to fill it. I forgot some ways to do it, though.

[UNTITLED]

Hey, sunshine. I miss you.

How come seeing you become so addictive? Eventhough I would always turn my head everytime you look at me. Eventhough I can feel these butterflies force to come out everytime you smile. Eventhough I can feel my cheeks warmer everytime you put your hands in your pants' pockets, and I have to act as normal as I can. Eventhough I would try not to look at you as often as possible.

And writing to you somehow keep me sane. Because after I type the last word I know I need to get back to the reality. Eventhough you might never read any word I write to you.

Three Quarters

National Exam.  Pretty much explains everything. 

I'm so glad it's finally over. I think I had done my best and let's see how good my best really is. 

The second I entered my car I realized that I would miss all of those faces I just saw. Those faces that I usually ignored, and sometimes even avoid. I may not know every one of them, but I know I would miss them in no time. Espescially those special people. Kendy, Ze, Anin, Ninis, Ribka, Desma, Tania, Fika, Bia, Kardina, Ayas, Prita, Maria, Icca,  Fira, Shaviera, Mumu, Dharma, and last but not least Ido. You may skip reading those names because you have no idea who they are but I somehow want to write those names out. Those names who bring the weirdo out of me.

I thank God for everything I've been through in highschool. Having a school much away from home teaches me to be discipline and also I got to know many new places. I also learn about diversity and respect others. I learn not to get mad easily. I learn to text while nodding at your teacher :-P I also learn that it's okay to hold on as long as you have the reasonable reason, if you don't please just learn how to move on. Last but not least I learn to be more realistic.

I'd also like to thank my sister and Tyas who has been a great company through the swing of my mood.

P.S. I thank God for every chairmate I ever had in highschool since each one of them helps me to be a better student. Thanks Fira, Mumu, Coblon, Eris, Ino, Prita, and Maria.(yes, it's way too much since I don't really have a permanent chairmate on my second semester) :-)

April Fool?

I remember it was one day after April Fool Day (yes, April 1st), I told Tyas and she said, "is it April fool joke?" Alhamdulillah it wasn't. :-)

Mobbed

Few days ago, on Thursday to be exact, I had a dream. When I awoke, all I could think of is have I ever had a dream that is better than that? I might think with my sleepy head but maybe that's true. It felt so real that I got surprised (in a bad way) when I woke up. I mean, like seriously. Last Thursday my mom picked me up (she rarely do this) and it happened in the dream. I could tell, I don't know how or why, that the next day (in my dream) would be holiday...and last Friday was a holiday. My point is, the situation in the dream was just exactly the same.

At last, it was a remarkable dream. I might remember this one for quite a long time.

Has no idea how to wake up,

Shafira Anjani

P.S. The title itself has something to do with that dream. TeeHee..

Half Done

It's the last day of the school exam. 

It's just unbelievable how I can still see it clear enough in my mind like it was yesterday when I got some days off because the seniors had school exam week. I remember it was on March. On the first day of the exam I went to school to sign some kind of agreement to promise that I would never be late again (yes, my school is that strict). I remember I couldn't wait to get out of school because I had an interview to be done. An interview for a documentary movie. I remember when I finally got the agreement signed, I still needed to wait for a friend which really pissed me off since the interview was so important for me. I remember I bought two little cakes near our source's house. When I got there the interview was already done, I just got there to give the cakes and say thank you. I remember I took my only photobooth photos with my highschool friends later that day. I remember that at the end of the day I feel blessed. Extremely happy for simply everything that happened that day.

Yet, it's not over. It's only half done. And I need to make it full done. And not just done, but also done it right in the best way I can do. These two weeks had crashed me in and out. I'm not a kind of student who will stay up all night and study. I would rather sleep and continue to study in the morning. Let's just say the school exam changed that and I can really use a day off to sleep now *yawn*

Missing reading novels,

Shafira Anjani.

Amnesia

I suddenly forgot what makes me holding on for this long. I tried and tried to remember. I tried to live the moments. Feel the moments. However, it makes no difference. I just can't seem to remember the reason why. Breeze, can't you whisper me? Please, tell me. I have no clue.

Why?

Overload Happiness

:):):):):):):):):)

I, just a random fact of mine, usually use smiley for sarcasm but those above are different. I'm super happy I don't know what can make me happier than this. I know actually haha but those things (that can make me happier than I already super am) are really great things that are almost impossible. Well, let's see if someday it may really happen. I love this week. Everyday of it. It may not be perfect but there had always been something special (some of it are quite embarassed, though). It's just amazing how amazing things can happen unstopable.

And, oh, I just realized it's been a while since I post photos of mine. So, here it is..my source of this week's happiness. :-D

And I still wonder why on earth I would post a photo of myself looking like....that. Happy Sunday everyone!

So Far So Great

In short: I love February. Apart from the birthday thingy, February of this year is so.....great. It's not perfect just like everything else is but I love it.

I love how I finally get a chance to talk to my best guy after weeks (maybe months?), have good times with friends, receive two sweetest letters I've ever received, feel uh-not-so-bad on lessons, have good times with family, be able to manage househould money successfully (yes, I nailed it!), and just simply see that someone  daily.

Not to mention I'm going to Bandung tomorrow (ZUPER excited for this one!!!!!Just done packing couple hours ago but can't stop myself over checking things). And...ah! For some couple weeks there's something and let's just say this something is vanished. Alhamdulillah :-D

Unless something really great is coming (I really hope something is..)February will definitely be my favourite month of the year.

Will be facing National Exam in 44 days,

Shafira Anjani

Le Mur Des Je T'aime

" I Love You: The Wall is a wall in Paris that ..........has every language of "I Love You".                      "

Found this pic on 9GAG and what comes first on my mind was: I want to take a picture with you. There. Someday. Later.

P.S. Yes, I should be studying. 

(Just) Two Weeks

Hey, peeps!

I'm in the middle of Exam tryout week and here I am. Isn't it super scary how not ready (I think) I am?  

I've studied, anyway he he, don't worry ;-)

**

Anyway..my parents are out of the country for almost two weeks. Meanwhile, I got trusted to manage the money in the household. It's only been two days and I...HAHAHAHA *lost of words......* well, I think I do well. At least, much better than the last time my parents left me (I had to manage the household's money as well..) :-P

You know..I'm not good at speaking my words. Unless it's been memorized/written before/you know what I mean right.., words coming out from my mouth are most of the time absurd. And I just found a reason why people often laugh when I speak -,-

Where am I going? I just want to tell you that I miss my parents so much. I never said words full of love for some couple years because....I got too shy. Am I the only one? I remember when I was younger, it was so easy for me to tell them how I feel.

Being left behind also makes me thinking about other thing. I have plan to go to college outside Jakarta, and I'm nowhere from independent nor neat. I can't imagine how my life would be if my plan goes well (aamin ^^). Ok, I actually can imagine. I know how I will (yes, I use if-clause 2 because I know it's possible! teehehehe) be overslept for most of my early times, since my younger sister usually wake me up. I know I will skip breakfast if I am too lazy. I know how my room will be filled with papers here and there. Unorganized.

Tomorrow is physics and english, so..wish me luck?

Currently pursuing dream,

 πA

P.S. I found that my name can be written in such a unique way couple months ago. Quite cool, right? 

Finally

They say you can't go through 12th grade without any sickness.

I guess they're right. 

Sincerely,

a girl that stays at home because of sickness after 3 years

(yup..I never missed a day at highschool because of sickness before)

Random Quotes

"Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?"
"Are we talking about someone specific?"

"......"

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

"Can we make them know that they deserve more?"

"We can try"

-The Perks of Being Wallflower,2012

But sometimes people think they are no better than these wrong people.

Mission: Unacomplished

"I work harder than the others!"

Or that's how I think, because I don't see what others do behind the door. Maybe I didn't do my best. Maybe I put my head up too high. Or maybe I'm just simply not being grateful. Maybe I was somehow blinded by all the negatifity and not able to see any positivity around. To be honest, that's been always a problem of mine that I'm still trying to find the solution.

So...Alhamdulillah, at least. There's always something to be grateful about.

Writing Dreams

Writing down dreams increases what is called dream recall, or the ability to remember dreams.

http://en.wikipedia.org --

I got this task from school where I have to write down my dreams and make slides about it. At first, I was like.... Ok. This can't be hard. I know what I want. I know what my dreams are.

You know where it goes, right? I was wrong. Once I tried to write any of it..I can't write anything. I've been working on it for two days, have made four slides and all of them are nothing but those things you put at the beginning of a presentation.

First

The video above is the teaser of my school upcoming event. I have always been excited when it comes to school events whether I take part of it nor not. However, I think this one is different..it's gonna be epic. So, why don't you be a part of Mafest2013?

For more info please kindly check the web http://mafest2013.com or the twitter @mafest2013




P.S. I don't know...happy new year? Tell me why the latest new year didn't feel special for me -_- By the way I will have my report book on Friday, super late I know, so...wish me luck! ;-D